Sunday, January 10, 2010

Ya Allah, I am so pained!

Ya Allah,

I apologize that I have to ‘pray’now to You though I should know that You already know what is in my heart. Maybe because I was born strong but I grew up weaker within the system that I have grown up in. Maybe I just need to write this to myself so that I can remember and repent too.

I know Allah that You have created us all out of love and to serve You in this temporary life before we are called back to You to live eternally. I do believe that You have “spoken” to us all through time through diverse languages. I do know also that You have not stopped giving us the signs and the brains to read them. But are we willing?

You have explained in great detail in the Quran about human nature and how we should live it.  But many, Oh God have forsaken Your Quran and Your scriptures.  Many.

You have been sending messages all though time through so many Messengers. Everyone wants to OWN the names of the Messengers for themselves while leaving behind their teachings. In the Messengers’ names, many lies have been created to further the liars’ selfish needs. Hence misery, division and enmity are evident when actually in the hearts of the believers it is LOVE that should prevail.

Many too, God, have erected idols besides you and worship these idols more than serve You. These idols come in the form of priests, scholars, politicians, wealth, families, self ego, glory, power, race, religion, fear, etc, etc..

Ya Allah, it is these idols that many worship today and think them real.  Even though often, these idols have failed them miserably yet they scream, shout, plunder and even kill to protect them but alas, in Your name.  The system, O Allah, is so perverted that evil is considered good and good is considered evil. Most are confused.

Do we not deserve a saviour or are we doomed? Have we strayed so far off Your Path?

But isn’t LOVE and JUSTICE the core of your teaching?

I cannot understand Ya Allah, why do they not use LOVE as the basis of inviting people to Your Path?  Do they not claim to Love You?

What can this one helpless slave of Yours do? I know it may even be arrogance to ask this. But forgive me My Lord, O Allah, O God, O Creator, in my eyes, I am the weakest and most sinful mortal that I can think of.  Being so weak and so sinful, I have no where else to turn but You. Please continue to guide me to be useful or just take me back as You will. The world is, after all, Yours as it has always been. It truly pains my heart to see so much vested interest floating around spurning more misery for the children of today who will have to inherit this earth soon.

I cannot even stop my tears from flowing as I write this. Forgive me My Lord, My Allah, My Creator.

Peace !


MarinaM said...

Very moving...I share your pain. :-(

Nia Sarah said...

Sudah...sudah...tak mau nangis lagi ok abg Jay.
Jangan nangis lagi...nanti Sarah nangis sama!Waaaa...hukhukhuk!!!('~!)

"And from His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth,And the variation in your languages And the variation of your colors:Surely,THERE ARE SIGNS IN THIS FOR THOSE WHO KNOW"30.22


Kan Allah dah bilang "Can the BLIND be held equal to The SEEING MAN?" Will you then not consider?6.50

So please Jahamy,toksah nangis lagi...toksah emo2...haaaaabis rosak mascara tu nanti :P

p/s:But seriously babeh,"Life for life,eye for eye,nose for nose,ear for ear,Tooth for tooth,and wounds equal for equal".BUT if any one forgives the revenge By way of charity,it is an act of PEACE for himself.5.45

So...pi makan dan sila berjimat-cermat dgn stok air mata anda!

Che'Bunga Nia Sarah `('v*)/*

PahNur said...

Amen, Amin, Allah,Eli, tomayto, tomahto....

Funny how people would kill each other and claim it's in the name of Allah, over terminology. I can understand the part about disagreeing, but to the point of harming mankind? This is another example of myopic Muslims who indulge in trivial matters, so much so they failed to see the bigger picture.

You apologize to god for "praying". I apologize to god for "braying" because like you, I cannot stop asking god questions upon questions that although i know most of the answers, i am powerless to make that change.

We all probably will manage to change the system a little maybe, but the system is way too corrupted, we'd probably need a divine intervention for this one. Majority is power, and if the majority is ignorant, it'll be shitty power at hand, ready to be unleashed to whoever who opposes.

Maybe we cannot change everything. Maybe we can encourage others to THINK and not follow Islam as though we are carrying a medical condition in our genes. Islam is not to be inherited, but it's beauty is to be deciphered through one's own journey of re-discovering what it means by "submitting to God".

[Pickthal 6:116] If thou obeyedst most of those on earth they would mislead thee far from Allah's way. They follow naught but an opinion, and they do but guess.

Perhaps this whole messy system is God's way of testing, who will hold on to His bond. Only in chaos will humans show their true color. That is how humans know. But God, God know everything, He's the Most Omniscient, that is why He knows whom to guide and whom not guide, ergo led astray away from His path.....

"Mankind was one single nation, and God sent Messengers with glad tidings and warnings; and with them He sent the Book in truth, to judge between people in matters wherein they differed; but the People of the Book, after the clear Signs came to them, did not differ among themselves, except through selfish contumacy. God by His Grace Guided the believers to the Truth, concerning that wherein they differed. For God guided whom He will to a path that is straight"

tolokminda said...

May God bless you bro... I too, share your sentiment. That is why I started my blog..

The Malays have no other option than to get back to what God has really revealed to them.

Khalid said...

Dear Jahaberdeen,
I am sure you shed tears not only because Muslims are doing things against the teachings of Islam, but I am sure your tears were also for when Muslims are/were on the receiving end of injustices e.g pig's head thrown into a mosque compound as in Melaka,and the atrocities in Gaza, Chechnya, Afghanistan etc

Salm, Peace, Shalom

Khalid said...

Check out this Christian website

Jahamy said...


It saddens me when everyone or anyone in the name of "God" act unjustly and cruelly.


nusha said...

Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Truly He is Endlessly Forgiving .'” (Surah Nuh, 71:10)